Discover the ultimate you. Step 4 to finding your confidence, being extraordinary and living life on your terms.
All barriers that people may experience in life always come to these three disempowering beliefs which they have picked up in one thought-form or another, typically during childhood. They carry these limiting beliefs through their lives, not realizing that these beliefs serve as a metal placed next to their inner compass, making it dysfunctional and taking people off course. Here they are:
1) I am not enough (not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, etc.). If there is an area in your life where you feel stuck, this is where you experience this limiting belief. It can come up in your head as a little voice whenever you want to do something new in this particular area to change it for the better. Moreover, if you proceed and your first attempt fails, then this voice will use it as a proof of your “not enoughness”. It will remind you that you better stay where you are, in your comfort zone, because this is who you are. Most likely, you have picked this limiting belief as “truth” from some “authority” figures (parents, teachers, managers, etc.) who were shaming or blaming you for not behaving or not performing in line with their expectations, or by accepting a critical comment about yourself as true. Even if done with good motives, once planted in our heads through the mechanism of shame and blame, these falsehoods are like seeds of self-doubt and incompleteness in you, which will sprout over time if not eliminated.
2) I am different (so I can’t find connection). As humans, we are wired to seek connection with others. If our motive is to fit in, to conform by staying “small or low” in order to feel accepted then we are driven by the fear of rejection. It leads us to suppress who we really are and hide behind the walls of conformity to feel safe. You know how disempowering and irrelevant the fear of rejection is from my earlier post. We all are different and unique by nature, and the healthy motive of the connection is aspirational and nurturing, where you preserve and build on your core, and focus on developing skills and attitudes that will help you become an even better and stronger person. This is the kind of connections that you want to cultivate to progress in life, not the destructive ones that force you to give up your personality.
3) I don’t deserve it (this is not available to me). This limiting belief, if present in your mind, will nullify all your attempts and efforts to create something meaningful in a particular area of your life and experience joy. It serves as a mental roadblock, preventing you to proceed forward and forcing you to move back or stay where you are. It works as a self-punishment or self-limiting tool often because of the feeling of guilt about a past action or event, or because you have labeled yourself in certain limiting way and believe in it, or because you subconsciously mimic your parents (or a significant person in your life) who you still see as “authority”, not allowing yourselves to be better, stronger, more than them.
Time to review your beliefs system and say goodbye to any disempowering beliefs you may be holding on to. Whenever a thought pops up in your head resonating with the above (I am not enough, I am different, I don’t deserve it), pause and ask yourself:
– Where does this belief come from? When did I pick it up and from whom?
– Is this true? (if the answer is yes then list down everything that supports this belief)
– How does this belief help me advance in the direction of my dreams?
– What would I be without this belief?
Once you have brought up this belief to your logical mind and once you understand how it limits you, you will realize how ridiculous it is to continue to live by this belief. You will be able to let it go, or at least to neutralize it and then replace it with a new empowering belief. It is simple but not always easy, as it does require mental discipline to practice this exercise regularly to clean your mind of any clutter that is limiting your success.
My clients go in depth through eliminating their disempowering beliefs and other mental and emotional clutter, and they do it fast. They have a solid foundation which they use to build their success stories with confidence, by being who they are – extraordinary individuals with their unique strengths and talents. Send me a personal message if you are interested to experience rapid transformation in your life. I will send you a questionnaire and we will talk to see if we are a good fit to work together.
Here are the links to the steps 1-3:
Step 1. Get rid of learned negative emotions – shame, guilt and worry
Step 2. Stop the negative self-talk
Step 3. Don’t let in criticism
